Dear Charley,

Please stop kicking mommy in the bladder and cervix. As much fun as those things seem to be, it will not be so fun if mommy pee's her pants at the office. If you aim for mommy's tummy, mommy promises she will help you try to persuade daddy to buy you a pony, puppy, diamond pacifier or whatever you want when you are old enough to want these things. He will be putty in our hands, I promise. See you in about 14 weeks. Oh, and if you could try to be a little bit early, say 10-12 weeks, we can negotiate on other outlandish gifts.
Love,
Mommy